privacy policy
please, have a seat, fold your wings. let's talk about your data.
Effective June 8, 2026. Plain language, no jargon. Here is what we do with your information.
what we monitor
We use a privacy-friendly, cookieless analytics tool. No cookies, no fingerprinting, no cross-site tracking. Fully anonymized and aggregated. You are, clinically speaking, a number on a chart.
your email
If you subscribed, we have your email and we intend to keep it, for exactly one purpose: sending you a fresh pelican each time a notable AI model is released. If the volume gets to be too much, we may switch to a periodic digest. We will not use your email for anything other than pelicans.
your votes
The GOAT/CURSED/LOL buttons and the cockfight record an anonymous tally: no account, no identifier, just a number going up. Your browser remembers which birds you already judged; that memory never leaves your device.
your tips
The tip pouch processes real payments via Stripe. When you tip, Stripe handles your card; we only receive a confirmation and your chosen codename. We record tip amounts as aggregate statistics (we need to know how many of you picked $25,000). Your payment data is governed by Stripe's privacy policy.
what we will not do
We do not sell, rent, or trade your personal data. The homepage says otherwise, loudly. The homepage is not well. This document is the sober member of the family. Believe this one.
discharging yourself
Every email includes a one-click unsubscribe. No hard feelings, no follow-up calls. You may also email us to be deleted entirely or to ask what we have on file.
follow-up
Questions or deletion requests: squawk@pelicans.wtf. If this policy changes, the date at the top changes first.